Reinventing Your Life: Taking Advantage of Life’s Transitions

by Jeffrey Kaplan, Ph.D.

As we all have experienced first hand, crises or transitions in life usually occur when we least expect it.  At 44 years of age, I was sailing along in life, happy with my career and family when, suddenly, like an explosion, everything started changing.  First, both my in-laws died within a few months of each other.  Shortly thereafter, my wife was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer.  To add fuel to the fire, a few months before my wife passed away, my father suddenly became ill and died.

To say the least, I was totally devastated.  I had stopped working to take care of her during her illness and, after my wife’s funeral,  found myself with 24 empty hours each day with no direction.  I’ve always been a people person, very extroverted and greatly enjoyed spending time with others.  Additionally, having a scientific and technological background, I spent most of my life as an agnostic, living exclusively in the five sensory world.  Now, I was faced with the dilemma of healing myself, finding purpose and making some sense out of this whole situation.  Life became totally surreal.  I felt like I was a stranger in my body.  It would have been easy to give up and become a victim.  Instead, I chose this crisis period as an opportunity to transform my life.

Spending time by myself during this healing period, I became more intuitive and started valuing my feelings.  I was driven to go within to be with the quietude, spending time with myself living with the questions I had never before contemplated.  I began to realize there was more to my existence then I had ever imagined.  Instead of just relying on my five senses as I had in the past, I began looking at life in a very different and contemplative way.  My life began to reinvent itself.

I always wanted to scuba dive and travel on my own.  I never had the opportunity or resources to do this, so during this transition, I became certified in diving and went on several trips to the Caribbean.  Diving somehow was very cathartic for me as I was immersed in silence and a world I had only dreamt about.  In addition,  I also spent several months traveling alone, sometimes not talking to anyone for a week at a time.  I recall spending time in Washington DC at a ridiculously fancy hotel, wandering through the city each day, talking to no one other than waiters and waitresses.  What I discovered was that no matter where I was, I enjoyed my company and was totally at peace.  Somehow, this is what I needed to do to heal.

At the same time, I began reading metaphysical and spiritual books and started internalizing their messages.  During my healing process, my soul began directing my life and personality.  The mystic archetype, one of my soul’s energies, was being activated and was guiding my personality in very different ways.  It had resided in my unconscious throughout my life and it took this crisis to allow this energy to manifest and help direct and guide my purpose in life.  I felt my old life and values slipping away as a new kind of energy flowed throughout my body.  I was now connected to my heart as well as my head.

I was now retired and thought I never had to work again.  Boy, was I wrong!  The next year, I met Basha, my spiritual partner, and I have been on this roller coaster ride ever since.  We connected on a soul level and married several months later.  Basha, a psycho-spiritual clinical psychologist, introduced me to new ways of thinking, feeling and being.  I decided to go back to school.  Following the completion of my Ph.D. in transpersonal psychology, we proceeded to write a book on relationships, “Soul Dating to Soul Mating: On the Path Towards Spiritual Partnership in 1999 with Penguin Putnam and spent the next several years traveling and lecturing.  We became known as “The Relationship Doctors” and now have a practice specializing in teaching couples how to turn their marriage into a healthy partnership.

Living with Basha has allowed me to learn and grow in ways I could never have imagined.  We live and spend 24/7 together without power struggles.  We both made a decision to focus our lives on mutual learning and growth as well as contribution and service to others. 
Four years ago, we decided to move this area to build our dream “green” house so we could write books and have peace and quiet.  Our major criterion was close proximity to downtown Asheville and overlooking water. Little did we know that the universe had other plans for us.

 
The first day of looking, we were cosmically directed to this spectacular piece of property overlooking the French Broad River in the town of Marshall.  One house on this land would have been ridiculous, so this naïve duo decided to become developers having no idea of what that meant.  Instead of living the quiet, peaceful, low stress life we planned, we are now creating an ECO Healthy Living Community called The Reserve at River Run (wonderful but overwhelming).  We did, however, build our dream house on this wonderful land.

Looking back at my life, I never could have imagined the path that these transitions have put me on.  I am truly blessed as a human being and hope to serve as a beacon for people who are looking to transform and re-invent their lives.  Being open to the universe and possibilities is the key, and every one of us can embrace the opportunities that come our way.

 

Jeffrey Kaplan holds degrees in education, counseling and administration and his Ph.D. is in Energy Medicine/Transpersonal Psychology   He lives with his wife Basha and their two furry children in their dream home they have just built in Marshall.  He can be contacted through his websites at www.soulmating.com or www.riverrunnc.com and his phone number is 828-545-0031.